The Death of Anya Christina Emmanuella Jenkins by Andrew Wells

As the final battle against pure evil began, Anya Christina Emmanuella Jenkins and her hapless assistant Andrew Wells patrolled the halls of Sunnydale High School. When the uber-vamps broke the line of newly called upon Slayers and ascended from the Hellmouth, Anya and Andrew braced themselves for the final showdown.

Andrew shook in a nearby corner as Anya took out two uber-vamps and a Bringer with her long sword. When all seemed quiet, he appeared. From the shadows came a Bringer who Andrew sensed had superior strength. Anya could sense it too. The Bringer and Anya faced off for a duel of epic proportions. As their lightsabers swords clashed in a fury of sparks, Anya whispered to her foe, "If you strike me down, I will come back stronger than you could possibly imagine." The Bringer didn't respond.

Andrew saw multiple opening where he could have stepped in and saved the day. But remained watching.

Anya and the Bringer remained evenly matched until Anya retreated backwards and raised her sword. Before the Bringer could pounce on the opportunity, she became one with the force, causing a blast that expelled the Bringer back to Hell, sacrificing her remaining years to protect mine Andrew's.

It should have been him. Anya should have lived. She should have been happy with Xander or without Xander or making money at the Magic Box or singing or hating bunnies or making sarcastic comments but she isn't. She's dead. And Andrew is alive.

I wrote this after visiting Sunnydale for one last time before beginning my Watcher training.

Dedicated to Anya Christina Emmanuella Jenkins

A Really Long Time Ago-2003

My Last Post

In the morning, I will be returning to Sunnydale High School to help the Slayers fight the First. Tomorrow I will die. And I'm okay with that. I've done some terrible things over the last few years and this final sacrifice will be my redemption. I'm dying for the right side.

I'm working on a speech to deliver tomorrow before the battle begins. Here's what I have so far:
I just want to say how proud I am to die for this very special cause with you guys. There's some people I'd like to thank, both good and evil. A shout out to my brother Tucker, who gave me the inspiration to summon demons and Warren for pushing me to the limit and encouraging my powers to blossom. I'd like to thank Jonathan for being with me until the end of his life. I'd also like to dedicate this battle to his honor. I'd like to thank Buffy and the Scoobies for taking me in in my time of need. And I just want to say that I love all of you and I'd like a simple gravestone, if it's not to much trouble.

I'd like to thank more people, but I still have a few hours before I present it.
It's been fun, dear readers, but it looks like this is the end.

Casa de Slayer

Summers House 26:00

Everyone is asleep in the Slayer household. They haven't let me outside in days, but at least they aren't tying me up anymore. Most nights I stare at the moon and wonder if anyone else is seeing the same one. Then I think about all the potential werewolves and vampires that are probably out there right now feasting on the blood of the innocent with maniacal laughter. I don't look at the moon anymore.
In other news, the one thing I've really missed since my imprisonment is vegetables. I know this seems a little random, but since being here all I've had is junk food and takeout. I keep adding broccoli, carrots, peas, spinach, and potatoes to the grocery list, but every time food arrives it's pizza or Double Meat Medley, which Willow keeps telling me IS vegetables, but it just tastes like feet.

In other other news, tomorrow I begin production on my documentary for future generations. It's all about the Slayer and her gang preparing the lil slayers for battle against the most terrifyingly terrifying evil ever known. It's definitely Oscar worthy.

Fear and Loathing in Mexico

Day 50

Sometimes it is really hard being Mexican. As a fifty day member, I feel isolated in my new community. Everyone is always speaking Mexicanese around me. Jonathan took some Spanish in high school, but not enough to get
anything practical accomplished. All he remembers is "dónde está la tienda de zapatos" which doesn't come up as much as you'd expect. I can't understand why Tim Robbins thought it was a good idea to come to Mexico in Shawshank Redemption.

Sleeping with Jonathan is nice enough though. He's like a small space heater with a deviated septum. He has a shy bladder, but beyond that he makes a great roommate. Now off to bed. More Mexican adventures soon!


Day 51

something really awful just happened to jonathan and i. we both had a nightmare. i thought i saw warren. i cant remember much of it but there was a phrase in mexicanese that jonathan is looking up right now. my hands are shaking so bad, but thanks to mrs telnocks 8th grade typing class i will always have steady hands in home row.
jonathan says the phrase means: it eats you starting with your bottom.
i'm not exactly sure what that is supposed to mean, but it scares the pants off me.
we're going to try going back to sleep now. night.

48HRS (in jail)

Jail changes a man. Time on the inside seems so much longer. Although they tell me I've been on the inside for roughly forty-eight hours, it feels like several well developed lifetimes. Jonathan and I shared a cell, which was nice because he's compact and doesn't take up much space. He would always get really clammy whenever our cell-neighbor Rodrigo had one of his fits, but I found his Latin fire charming.

On a less bright note, Jonathan and I are currently on the run from Dark Willow. Luckily, The Slayer's Scooby Doo-esque gang has put us in their protection. I was able to momentarily borrow Willow's old laptop while the "Doobers" did research on helping Willow.

Warren: if you're reading this blog, and I assume you are, please rescue us! or at least me! I know you can't be dead, and I know you're smart enough to trick even Dark Willow. We're at the Magic Box. Also, while in jail, I wrote you this short poem to keep your spirits high and my devotion true:

I am the Chewbacca to your Han

I am So Low without you

You're like Kirk to Willow's Khan

Everyone is trying to doubt you

I know you're a Big Bad

But I see the good inside

Even when you're mad

Even when they say you died.

Like Michael Corleone

From The Godfather Part Two

I'll never leave you alone

I'll stay devoted to you.

ANDREW WILL NO LONGER BE WASTING VALUABLE RESOURCES AND MONEY ON HIS STUPID LITTLE BLOG. HE WILL ALSO PROBABLY BE DEAD SOON, SO PLEASE GET LIVES NERDS.

-ANYA

Three is the Magic Number

Sorry, loyal readers, for the extended absence. I've been laying low ever since Tucker's Hell Hound debacle. But now I have a crew of like-minded individuals, and just like the Avengers and the Justice League before us, we've decided to team up and become THE TRIO! Who would have thought that three friends who sat together at lunch and were harassed by all their peers would grow up to be super villains?

Trio Rundown:
Jonathan Levinson - Spell-casting Gnome with a heart of gold
Andrew Wells - Summoning Bard with the charm of Timothy Dalton
Warren Mears - Dungeon Master and Alpha Male

Trio Pledge:
We the Trio, in an effort to plunge the world into darkness, do hereby swear our eternal hatred of do-gooders (excluding those existing in the Marvel and DC universes) with a concentrated effort on Buffy the Slayer of Vampyres for her crimes against inhumanity. In brightest day, in darkest night, let those who are good fear our might.


Soon we will test the Slayer's strengths to find her weaknesses. I'd give you a summary of our plan, but you'll probably see it on CNN or Fox News.

Life of Crime Begins!

HIGH SCHOOL SHAKESPEARE TRAGEDY: "WICKED WITCH" STILL ON THE LOOSE!

Sunnydale High School has been struck by another tragedy last weekend when their production of Romeo and Juliet was interrupted by, what witnesses are calling, "a pack of flying monkeys". Principal Snyder, though not on the premises when the supposed attack occurred, claims that there was a gas leak in the auditorium at the time of the play. An inspection and repair team has been ordered by Mayor Richard Wilkins with an assurance that this incident will not affect the end of the school year activities including Senior Prom and Graduation. Some students claim a "wicked witch" is the cause of the flying monkey attack. When asked to comment on the possibility of an Oz themed witch attacking Sunnydale, Principal Snyder replied, "Damn kids."



I feel like Kevin Spacey's character from Seven. Eluding the press and the police at every turn. Although having my monkeys attack the school play wasn't my intention, my ability to summon demons grows more powerful every day! Tucker is still years ahead of me, but at least now I have Sunnydale's attention...